Monsanto Roundup Lawsuit

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Diagnose Depression - Game Show Style



Reading through the archives of the British Medical Journal [BMJ] has left me wondering about some of the lunatics we have submitting papers to medical journals. [It's PC to say lunatic isn't it?]

One such paper, is from Bruce Arroll, associate professor, Natalie Khin, PhD student, and Ngaire Kerse, a senior lecturer.

The paper was accepted by the BMJ back in 2003, its conclusion being that two verbally asked questions for screening for depression would detect most cases of depression in general practice.

The questions that can apparently tell if you, I or anyone else for that matter have depression are:

1. During the past month have you often been bothered by feeling down, depressed, or hopeless?


2. During the past month have you often been bothered by little interest or pleasure in doing things?

No competing interests were declared.

The study was funded by Oakley Mental Health Foundation and Charitable Trust of the Auckland Faculty of the Royal New Zealand College of General Practitioners.

It was back in 2003 and I cannot assume for one minute that this study was ever taken seriously - this has prompted me to write a short skit.

BRUCE FORESIGHT'S 
PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT


STUDIO ANNOUNCER: "Ladies & gentlemen, it's time for PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT...and here is your host, Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuce Foresight."


BRUCE FORESIGHT: "Good game, good game. Nice to see ya, to see ya...NICE. I'm the leader of the pack which makes me such a lucky Jack. I play my cards close to my chest; but here's a pair that's worth revealing, come on dollies, do your dealing."


APPLAUSE FROM OVER ENTHUSIASTIC STUDIO AUDIENCE


BRUCE FORESIGHT: "Alright my luvs, welcome to play your cards right. We asked 100 people if, during the past month, they had often been bothered by feeling down, depressed, or hopeless? How many out of those 100 people said yes they had, during the past month, often been bothered by feeling down, depressed, or hopeless?"

*Contestant Couple Roger & Ann

"Oooh, we'd have to say that figure is pretty high Bruce, let's say 66"

*Audience titter

*Contestant Couple Mike & Cheryl

"Umm... we think it may be slightly lower"

*Audience burst into rapturous laughter.

BRUCE FORESIGHT: "The actual number of people who said yes they had, during the past month, often been bothered by feeling down, depressed, or hopeless is..."

*Monitor flashes 100

Roger & Ann get to turn the cards, a series of higher or lower guess sees them complete the round.

BRUCE FORESIGHT: "Good game, good game. Now question 2: We asked 100 people if, during the past month, they had often been bothered by little interest or pleasure in doing things? How many people said yes they had, during the past month, often been bothered by little interest or pleasure in doing things?"

*Contestant Couple Mike & Cheryl

"We'd have to say that was pretty high Bruce, we agree on 70"

Audience titter again

*Contestant Couple Roger & Ann

"We'd say that figure is slightly higher Bruce"

BRUCE FORESIGHT: "The actual number of people who said yes during the past month, they had often been bothered by little interest or pleasure in doing things is..."

*Monitor flashes 100

Audience applaud, Roger & Ann go on to complete the round and win the star prize... a DeLorean.

BRUCE FORESIGHT: Goodnight folks.

Outro music plays whilst audience applaud.


Fid

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'THE EVIDENCE, HOWEVER, IS CLEAR...THE SEROXAT SCANDAL' By Bob Fiddaman
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