A great article by Allen Frances MD has appeared in the Psychiatric Times with regard to the updated version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders [DSM]
The DSM-5 Scientific Review Group have already accepted the proposal of the wacky white coated buffoons new 'diseases'. That's right folks, it now means Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder [DMDD] can be added to, an already, long list of mental disorders.
So, how do these lunatics define DMDD?
Well, in a nutshell [pardon the pun] DMDD is a temper tantrum. We've all had them and, as parents, have all witnessed them. Now, it would appear, the white coated pill pushers wish to suppress yet another form of human expression. Guess what folks? This 'illness' is treatable but us adults have to be alert. The DSM-5 ask parents, teachers and peers to be observant.
A. The disorder is characterized by severe recurrent temper outbursts in response to common stressors.
1. The temper outbursts are manifest verbally and/or behaviorally, such as in the form of verbal rages, or physical aggression towards people or property.
2. The reaction is grossly out of proportion in intensity or duration to the situation or provocation.
3. The responses are inconsistent with developmental level.
B. Frequency: The temper outbursts occur, on average, three or more times per week.
C. Mood between temper outbursts:
1. Nearly every day, the mood between temper outbursts is persistently negative (irritable, angry, and/or sad).
2. The negative mood is observable by others (e.g., parents, teachers, peers).
They've pretty much covered every human emotion now with the various updates over the years. Are you happy, are you sad, do you feel angry, do you feel lonely, are you shy, are you tired, do you have too much energy, do you wet the bed...the list is endless - all treatable 'diseases' by way of pharmaceutical drugs designed to fuck up the chemicals in the minds of the young whose brains have not yet fully developed.
The DSM is the Bible of psychiatry, I don't know how that term was ever coined, it would be feasible to suggest that they [white coated loons] coined it themselves. They want to play God, they want to alter the chemistry in young brains before they are given a chance of life and if that child dies as a result of these powerful medications, tough titty - they just blame the illness... that they invented. Talk about cornering a market!
Not content with diagnosing if a child presently has a 'mental disorder' other psychiatrists now believe they can predict if a child will fall into the cesspit of invented disorders. "Well, Mrs Jones, your 6 year old son may not have psychosis now but we believe he will develop an onset of schizophrenia in his teens...here, give him one of these daily." **Hands Mrs Jones a packet of Ritalin.
Never one to miss an opportunity to lampoon these mindless cretins, I've created a further two mental disorders that the lunatics missed out on. Special thanks to Australian psychiatrist, Patrick McGorry, for use of his time-travelling DeLorean.
|Fictional character, Rab C Nesbitt has a severe form of TSD|
A. TSD - Talking Scottish Disorder
1. The accent is indecipherable, almost gibberish. The onset of TSD starts at birth. Recommended that the families move across the border to England, further south than Newcastle, further north than Cornwall [See TGD - Talking Geordie Disorder and TCD - Talking Cornish Disorder] This disorder also applies to children born into Welsh families who use the Welsh language, TWD.
|Male midlife crisis - "Quick, where's my bandana!"|
B. PMCD - Preventable Midlife Crisis Disorder
1.Midlife crisis affects both the male and female adult population of the western world. Mid 40's to early 50's males can be seen wearing earrings, or sporting baseball caps or bandana's. Extreme sufferers shave their heads upon the onset of baldness [see GBS - Going Bald Syndrome]. It's a given that the human psyche will fall foul of this vanity disorder. With the aid of the EIVP - [Early Intervention Vanity Program] psychiatrists can now predict that 90% of males born will, between the ages of 45 and 55, develop MCD It can be treated with cardigans, smoking jackets and smoking pipes and prevented at an early age with psychiatric drugs.
|Female midlife crisis - "Robbie just made eye contact with me."|
2. Females with MCD - More often than not females between the ages of 40 and 55 will congregate at reunion gigs by bands their daughters once liked, some examples would be Take That, Boyzone, Boys II Men and Westlife. Many will consume alcohol and relive their daughter's teen years. Extreme sufferers will scream and cry as their daughter's idols take the stage, resulting in running mascara and delusions that lead singers of the aforementioned boy bands actually made eye contact with them in the 80,000+ crowd. Once again, this can be prevented by offering adult sufferers knitting magazines or cook books. With the EIVP female children can be offered a course of psychiatric drugs.
"If one could bottle psychiatry, one could retail it in garden centres around the world - be sure to place the bottles in the fertilizer section." - Bob Fiddaman
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