Monsanto Roundup Lawsuit

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Hurry up Dawn

It's one of those nights where I just cannot sleep. Time 3.09am as I write this. I've checked my mail, had the usual return from Google News Alerts, Paxil this, Seroxat that, GSK this, MHRA that. I've re-read emails sent to me during the day (yesterday), listened to the radio, a talk show about retro sweets. Aztec Bars, Mint Cracknell, Space Dust et al.

So here I am alone in my flat, save for my dog who is currently fast asleep on my bed... not a care in the world. The view from my flat is black at night, quite stunning in the day and simply divine as dusk breaks.

My thoughts go out to Shelly Hart and her family. Her husband, Gary, posted on her blog earlier that she was admitted to hospital because she was having life threatening withdrawal problems coming off Paxil. [Seroxat]

I remember my withdrawal hell like it were yesterday, in fact the blackness currently outside my window could be a painting of how I felt back then. The feeling of being totally alone, having nobody to turn to combined with the WHOOSH, WHOOSH, ZAP, ZAP head blasts caused by GlaxoSmithKline's wonder drug.

I used to sleep for England but since my three months of cold turkey some three years ago I haven't really had a decent sleep. It begs the question what the long term use of an antidepressant such as Seroxat is?

It's hard not to dwell on the past when one is left with such a scar as irregular sleep.

In truth I don't want to be here right now, my place reminds me of the hellish withdrawal. The fields that back on to my flat was where I used to walk during the early hours between the months of Feb & March. Uncontrollable zaps ripping through me, thoughts of harming myself... even worse harming others.

What has GlaxoSmithKline allowed to happen here? To market a drug that can have such an adverse effect on people is truly shameful. The consequences of withdrawal have had a devastating effect on my life. I am one of many thousands who have struggled at the hands of this drug. As I sit here typing there is some poor soul hospitalized because the sheer intensity of Seroxat withdrawal is too unbearable for them. Clinics up and down the UK... in fact all over the world, are treating people for SSRi addiction, an addiction that GlaxoSmithKline and other pharmaceutical companies along with the medicine regulators say does not exist.

It's a never ending nightmare and who knows if we will ever get any form of closure? Prosecutions would be nice. Someone MUST be held accountable for allowing this to happen... more importantly, allowing it to continue.

I'm think I will stay up to watch dawn break. A Dixie Chicks CD on in the background will be my company until then.

"And sometimes I don’t have the energy to prove everybody wrong and I try my best to be strong but you know it’s so hard, it’s so hard"

So Hard - Words & Music by Emily Robison, Martie Maguire, Natalie Maines, Dan Wilson


Read the new book, The Evidence, However, Is Clear...The Seroxat Scandal

By Bob Fiddaman

ISBN: 978-1-84991-120-7