Following on from Mark Carter's two previous guest posts.
Mark's time on SSRi medication should be a stark warning to those considering medication and those who dish it out.
Part I - Guest Post: Like A Lamb to the Slaughter
Part II - Guest Post: Life ‘at’ and Escape ‘from’ Paroxetine Island
Third and final installment...
Rip Van Winkle Awakes Surveys the Damage and Seeks Answers
Even qualifying it by saying I was made a ‘drug addict by stealth’ by my friendly family doctor peddling poisons under a wrapper of fraud lies and deceit doesn't seem to lesson the spiritual heartbreak of this confession. The weight of which I find difficult to bare at times.
As I write I am now 33 months drug free and yet I still feel like Rip Van Winkle waking up. Withdrawal is like an onion, each month you peel away another layer of drug damage and often you cry.
At 18 months and stabilising I then wrote letters of outcry to major media outlets. I then decided to confront those who did this to me and seek answers. I soon learned that seeking answers from the medical profession was a lost cause for none were to be found or forthcoming. In fact quite the opposite.
First I presented to psychiatrist Dr SB at the Te Raphiti Clinic Howick to make an official-in-person complaint regarding Paroxetine. After having my humanity insulted for 10 years I was now about to have my intelligence insulted.
Seeking an explanation to my withdrawal horror Dr S.B. turned on me and tried to blame it on the Healtheries supplement I had taken. I thought that strange as he was the very one who had said it was O.K. to take. (Part II)
On explaining my sexual damage and trying to get an explanation for it he interrupted me with:
“Have you considered the fact you might have a sexual disease?”
What the … no doubt some kind of Te Raphiti joke!
This disgusting comment was extraordinarily offensive. He did not ask me one single question regarding my lifestyle before throwing this insult at me. He clearly had no idea who he was talking to. Then when I tabled a research document by Dr David Healy, he refused to engage in it and immediately stood up and said,
“Right I am discharging you back to your doctor now”
I then decided I would make a complaint regarding my plight to the Health and Disability Commissioner (HDC) and went to advise family doctor Dr W of this and to also voice my concerns regarding Paroxetine and seek from him an explanation to my very serious sexual damage. When I told him he had chemically castrated me. He dismissively replied:
“Well, what do you want me to do about it...look I’ve got other patients waiting to see me...you have got psychological issues, I am referring you to the psychiatrist.”
His parting comments:
“So do you think I shouldn’t prescribe SSRIs then?”, and “I would never have given you something I thought would have harmed you.” , were very revealing!
‘Fewer Pills, Better Life’
I then reluctantly went to see the psychiatrist, for one reason and one reason only, and for the same reason I had gone there previously…..to try to get an explanation for my sexual damage, yet knowing full well they would just play games. I wasn't disappointed. Not happy with Dr B.S.‘s previous comments I requested to talk to someone else. I soon realised it was going to be another session of sick comedy when Dr Z. T. (Zero Truth) started off by claiming he had never heard of PSSD! I personally find this statement unbelievable especially since Eli Lilly have added PSSD to their prescribing information.
Here is Dr Z T explanation for my sexual damage;
I asked, “Is it going to improve because it seems to me like it’s been 2 years and it seems to be diminishing you know… I just want to know if it’s coming back or its going to be permanent.”
Dr Z T from New York on secondment to the Te Raphiti Mental Health Clinic, Highland Park, Howick replied...
“Well I think the other factor that has to be considered here is age, now I have the advantage or disadvantage of being older than you are and I know that ahhh desires tend to diminish with age, so there’s that, and then there is also … circumstances I have to tell you that one thing I appreciate about New Zealand culture and on the other hand I have to say is quite different from the States is, there is very little sexual provocation around here women tend not to dress sexually whereas in the States if you are on the sidewalks of New York probably every 10th woman you would be looking at because she is dressed provocatively and have…. so the demure in which you are has a lot to do with it and one of the ways we know this is that ahhh because ahhh stories about Catholic priests and sexual abuse aside, when people dedicate themselves to the monastic life ahhh their testosterone levels go down measured in this more accurate way as I’ve described um… so…. so the prognosis here in part depends on whether or not you are reacting to age whether or not you are getting sexual stimulation apart from manual and um… and then there’s the whole question of what role sex plays for you psychologically ahhhh and um to what degree is that bound up in intimacy and that gets to be very complicated, there are some people who don’t have sex unless they are feeling really close to another person, and there are other people for whom being close to another person is in fact somewhat of a turn off that’s why there are all these people who are married and have mistresses, (said with short subtle nervous giggle), so it can get very complicated and I can’t give you a prognosis!”
For the audio click here.
It is high time the medical profession woke up and smelled what they are shoveling. This explanation is typical of the self-protecting, Vomitous, verbal diarrhea which exudes from so called doctors. No doubt these people are actually intelligent yet they sure seem hell bent on doing all they can to prove otherwise! Is it any wonder patients are clueless about what is going on. And if doctors are not vomiting forth nonsense then their self-protecting silence is deafening.
Dr Z T was visibly physically repulsed at my suggestion that he try Paroxetine refusing to consider such an idea, finally giving this explanation as to why he would not try it:
“I would not take anything without googling it first”
If only I had been so wise. It is obvious he wasted his money going to Medical School. He could have clearly put his skills and money to better use by investing in and working at a second hand car dealership. Dr Z.T. refused to talk sensibly and engage in discussing researched facts for when I tabled truths regarding GSK and Paroxetine he stood up and said “well you are clearly not interested in our help”. Funny he didn't even suggest anything. “I’m leaving the room now” and he left refusing to talk to me, refusing to come back into the room, and leaving me in the room with two observing students! Let me just say that Dr Z T’s behaviour was the most unprofessional, childish, immature, rude display I had ever witnessed from anyone in the workplace ever.
I then walked to the Managers office, made a complaint and then left. Interestingly I mentioned to the Manager that Dr BS had previously advised me that they do not prescribe Paroxetine at this clinic and yet the Manager said “that is not correct because we do”…oh boy! There are many who cannot get off paroxetine. Why is this? Well for a start doctors are totally misinformed of the potent nature of this poison. Secondly many, unlike myself, are unable to put aside 3 years of their life to spend hours daily lying on the floor in a foetal position with uncontrollable-sobbing-anxiety crying out to God to take them, while being hit with wave upon wave of traumatizing drug induced suicidal ideations.
In some ways Rip Van Winkle has awoken yet feels he has morphed into a Teletubby, same bloated stomach look, same distorted gait, same difficulty accessing vocab from brain and (no offense to Lala, Po, Dipsy, and Tinky Winky) same sexual (in)ability.
I say it is a miracle I am still alive after surviving this hell as such I speak for the dead in order to protect the living. I am gravely concerned that adverse reactions are being greatly underestimated by the public, the medical profession and the regulatory authorities. As such I believe a public health problem of epidemic proportions is unfolding in this nation or for that matter worldwide.To those working as pimps for pharma I would like to say...
It is time for Medical Professionals to wise up, man up, own up, stand up and speak up!
Thank you for reading my story and thank you to Bob Fiddaman for being a voice for the voiceless.
Mark Carter( Poisoned, ruined and sexually destroyed by an SNRI and SSRI)
BSc (Maths), BAppSc (Psych), Dip.(Psych), Dip.(Health and Human Behaviour), Dip.(Primary Tchg), Dip.(Bus), Dip.(Tesol), Cert.(Tesol), Cert.(Applied Theology).
Pending: Dip.(Applied Mental Health), Unfinished: Actuarial degree, BCom, and BTheol.
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