I based this poem on an old joke I heard.
DEFINITELY
I must tell you this funny story
That happened when I was young.
But first I'll set the scene
With my wagging tongue.
The place was my junior classroom
In my old catholic school
where 9 year old James Clark
Was the child of ridicule.
We were told to recite a sentence
Using teachers chosen expression.
It was said to help our English
And aid us to progression.
'Definitely' was his chosen word
That we had to use.
First to go was my best friend,
A frightened Michael Hughes.
"The sky is 'definitely' blue sir",
Said Michael somewhat proud.
"OH NO IT'S NOT", said teacher,
Raising his voice aloud.
IT'S SOMETIMES GREY & RED
AND AT NIGHT IT'S DEFINITELY BLACK."
He turned and pointed to the rear
Where sat a trembling Jack.
"The grass is 'definitely' green sir,
Came trembling Jack's retort.
"OH NO IT'S NOT, YOU FOOL,
THAT'S IT YOU'RE ON REPORT."
"THE GRASS IS SOMETIMES YELLOW
AND I'VE SEEN IT BROWN.
FOUR O'CLOCK OUTSIDE MY DOOR
NOW WILL YOU PLEASE SIT DOWN."
Then Jimmy raised his hand
And said "Can I have a go?"
Teacher shrugged his shoulders
Then murmured "I suppose so."
"Can I use the toilet first,
I'm dying for a wee,"
Asked poor old little Jimmy
Losing dignity.
"JUST SAY WHAT YOU'VE GOT TO SAY
THEN YOU'LL BE EXCUSED."
Teacher stood there stony faced
He was not amused.
"Okay," said little Jimmy,
Giving teacher a woeful glance.
"If you don't let me use the loo
I'll 'definitely' wet my pants!"
© BOB FIDDAMAN
Fid
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'THE EVIDENCE, HOWEVER, IS CLEAR...THE SEROXAT SCANDAL' By Bob Fiddaman
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